We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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