I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
