I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize