And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
