I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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