So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
