Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
