we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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