Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
