i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize