remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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