like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
