It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
