My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
