It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hippo gnu deer
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
