So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize