I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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