So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
