We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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