so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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