It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
