This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
