Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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