how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
