I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
