but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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