I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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