dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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