I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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