just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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