Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
