i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
