Say something about gay babies.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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