He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize