girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
