I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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