My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
