i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
