They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
