it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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