i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
