he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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