i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Two words: blizzard sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
