I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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