The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
