His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
