dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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