you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
