so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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