Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
