Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
