I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
