u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
why is half of my head shaved?
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