life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
