can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
