she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
