There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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