Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They are going to name an STD after you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
