i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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